This week as I mulled some important life questions I also was facing up to a glitch in my own behavior over the past month. Year upon year (really decade upon decade) of lean times has made me fairly parsimonious, or so I like to think of myself until I come face to face with my alter ego, Miss Sallie Spendthrift.
Now I am a quirky person. I know this and I work with this. I learned early on, having made my own money starting with a paper route at age 11, that I have a bit of problem with spending monomania. Having little money meant that I wouldn't go shopping very often. So when I did the impetus sometimes was from a sense of compulsion, rather than a concrete need. In other words, I am prone to spending binges.
Even as a young girl I knew what to do and that is let it run its course and then pick up the pieces afterwords. So, I'd buy up all sorts of stuff and then the next day, or week, I'd return most, if not all of it. The money was always needed for more practical things like food, basic clothing, et al.
So when I started knitting it was on the cheap and in small amounts, mostly, and then occasionally dotted by binges of suspect bounty. This past month has been a total binge. And though every dime spent came out of my savings account, and is not leveraged with credit, it is still very hard to face because I am not sending these things back. The purchases were all wanted and/or lusted after. So maybe I'm just crying wolf on myself. Maybe I'm just fearing fear itself. Maybe I just have to learn it's okay to go hog wild on yourself. But is it?
In the past month I purchased these books:
Interweave Knitters Companion, Vicki Square
Stephanie Pearl McPhee Casts Off, Yarn Harlot
The Opinionated Knitter, Elizabeth Zimmerman
Last Minute Knitted Gifts, Joelle Hoverson
Knitting Beyond the Edge, Nicky Epstein
Book One: The Viking Knits Collection, Elsebeth Lavold
The Harmony Guides: 220 Aran Stitches and Patterns
The last four I picked up this week alone.
Maybe this is normal for someone becoming obssessed with a hobby. My social exposure is so limited I don't know how to measure myself.