Sunday, April 20, 2008

Grade A Asshatery

I was feeling pretty punchy last Thursday afternoon and so considered every thought that came to mind as clever and funny. We all have those kind of days, right? Ergo, the post I made that day was stream of consciousness. Within an hour or so, as I was running errands, I began fretting in a big way. Did I seriously just insult an entire city and think it was funny? I did.

I obsessed for hours over whether or not what I did was offensive and later that evening I made my husband read the post to get his perspective. Where I had begun to think I made the most egregious faux pas, he assured me could not be mistaken as anything but an attempt to be funny. It was clear I was being tongue in cheek, rather than a grade A asshat.

So, I felt better, but not necessarily relieved. The hours of worry made me reflect on how narrow minded I sometimes am, and sadder still, how narrow minded I can come across as. Self-disapprobation is par for the course with me, but the slightest notion that I could be the author of any form of unprovoked insult invokes a shame that is deeply painful to me.

I am thankful to have the ability to see myself through a different lens, and hopeful I can become a better person because of it.

3 comments:

Nell said...

I thought you were being funny too. But isn't it strange how we edit ourselves. I often write a post and adjust it so that no one will be offended. And still I'm sure I do. I try to remind myself that I know my intention and if anyone take it poorly, I can't control it. But that's hard for me to live by. Anyway, I don't think you're an asshat.

Knitting Kris said...

I thought you were being funny too. But I agree with Nell, we often are too hard on ourselves, in our efforts to try and not "step on any toes," so to speak. This is your blog, and really, you should be able to post as you desire, and about what you choose. I will still read it! :)

Shannon said...

I totally took your post as humorous. I think you have a very conversational humor in your writing, and I really enjoy it.

It is funny though how we "hear" ourselves sometimes. I do this alot at work. My humor is sometimes a bit dark, and I think it freaks people out sometimes.

 

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