Feeling stupid makes me unfathomably angry. I just want to lash out at people. I came up against another mysterious segue in the Firestarter pattern Saturday night and revisiting it today on the KAL makes me want to punch someone in the face, thank you very much.
I realize I haven't posted a single picture of this project here, just over at the KAL. This toe left me sleepless one night and angry for even longer. It's so pretty that the anger was quickly forgotten until I finished the gussets
and began turning the heel.
Living with a learning disability has gotten worse with age. Maybe it's because I have less patience now that I fully understand my limitations. When I was younger I just figured out ways to get around things or maybe it was that more often than not I was blissfully ignorant of my limitations. Now when they are wont to trip me up I feel like a cornered cat. My anger is ferocious. I have yet to find a coping mechanism for it.
I began turning the heel and WHAM! at row 18 I realize I don't understand a frackin' thing it expects me to do next. I just want to cry I feel so stupid.
Oh, this is the least offensive picture of my feet that I took yesterday.